Archive for August, 2012

What Blue Ivy Will Never Have to Feel aka Trauma Vortex

Posted in Healing My Own N-traits, My Childhood, Poems, Rants, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 4, 2012 by The Dawn (Aya Aja)
8 legs in the air frantically frailling
Somebody abandoned the infant
Like she was a roach, a turtle, or a centipede that always screams like that anyway
Bombastic squeals that no one ever hears
Only what’s behind my obvious poker face reveals, the
Fire in the bottom of my back
Rage and under – attack
Girl ain’t nobody hurting you
What the hell is wrong with you then?
Un-loving invalidation hypnotizing trauma spin
Full on tank and machine gun invasion
Crashing into the foundation where I sleep
The mirror is repetitive begging before my mom again
Can I stay with you
Can I be with you
Will you take me in
Oh, we aren’t really that close of friends
The vortex that always pulls me into
those beliefs,
those feelings
A whirlpool of energy
Swirling furious energy
I just have to be alone
Be Alone
Within IT – not me
Re-experiencing
unpleasant sensations
Letting go by embracing
Malnourishment
I never had
Never will
Somehow going to hell
Heals
© 2012 IAP Art Group ™ All Rights Reserved

Ghost

Posted in Poems, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 2, 2012 by The Dawn (Aya Aja)
What is this Ghost that haunts, taunts, and paralyzes
Subtle
Powerful
Threatening
A glance
No presence
Presence in only a certain way
For the rest of your life
It never leaves you
Just like a mother shouldn’t
Off Balance
Not Well Enough
No place in the World Ghost
Vacancy where self – assured – ness
This Ghost is so smooth
You question you not It
This Ghost is sneaky
Only you see THAT side of It
The Ghost overtakes to you
Your Power and knowledge is the Ghost enemy
Some children see it and some don’t
Clouding up my days
Chaining my doors closed at Night
Terrified to really exist
The more I exist the more of the Ghost I have to face
Too Ilusory
Exorcise
© 2012 IAP Art Group ™ All Rights Reserved